"(Your name) (blanks)"

Stolen from John Green (he’s an author… he writes… it’s sort of a writing post). Type your name into Google with the verb that comes after in the question. Answer with your favorites from the first page of google results. Have fun!

Q: Type in “[your name] needs” in the Google search.
A: “How to say michelle needs to go poop in different languages – How to say michelle needs to go poop. How do you say michelle needs to go poop in different languages translation.” (If I ever decide to travel, this might actually come in handy.)

Q: Type in “[your name] looks like” in Google search.
A: “Michelle looks like a man like always. Kelly looks gorgeous.” (That’s a blatant lie… and just mean.) “Michelle looks like a MOM – unlike her Dawson’s Creek co-star, Mrs. Tom Cruise!! ! who shops and drinks and only holds her child for Vanity Fair spreads!” (Give me time, I’m still working on the wedding.)

Q: Type in “[your name] says” in Google search.
A: “Michelle says Barack is a nerd!” (Obviously, the Obamas.)

Q: Type in “[your name] wants” in Google search.
A: “Michelle wants to earn money to buy a teeshirt. … Michelle wants to prove to everyone that even though she’s only nine she can babysit too.” (Aww, I love Full House.) “Michelle wants to be Queen Bee.” (Ms. Obama again.)

Q:Type in “[your name] does” in Google search.
A: “Michelle does Elle.” (Sounds kinky.) “Michelle Does it Again! What can I say, I love monograms. I think they are a fabulous way to personalize your wedding or event.” (Did somebody say wedding?)

Q: Type in “[your name] hates” in Google search.
A: “Michelle hates Bacardi – good girl” (Never tried it, actually.) “My friend Michelle hates semi-colons.” (I don’t hate them; I just never know if I’m using them correctly.)

Q: Type in “[your name] asks” in Google search.
A: “Celebrity Big Brother’s Michelle asking for ‘some stimulation’.” (More kinky stuff.)

Q: Type in “[your name] likes ” in Google search.
A: “Michelle likes obese men, so spend some time eating fatty foods.” (LMAO. That’s so fricken funny.)

Q: Type in “[your name] eats ” in Google search.
A: “Michelle eats mozarella sticks the lazy way.” (What the? Huh?)

Q: Type in “[your name] wears ” in Google search.
A: “Michelle wears flats never would have thought of that!!!!!” (Yes I do, but most of the time I prefer to wear heels.)

Q: Type in “[your name] was arrested for” in Google Search.
A: (This is always the most fun, so there are more. The parenthetical thing below is not my comment, though.)

  • MICHELLE was arrested for public intoxication.
  • Michelle was arrested for possession of two ecstasy tablets in Bali.
  • Michelle was arrested for alleged assault and indecency. (Quite frankly, had she been 10 pounds lighter she would have been real decent looking.)
  • On the night Michelle was arrested for DUI, Scott testified that he had “about eight beers.”
  • Michelle was arrested for the murder of Drew’s biological father, Ben Warren.

Q: Type in “[your name] loves” in Google Search.
A: “Michelle loves Paris” (Yes, yes I do.)

This entry was posted on January 13, 2009, in writing. Bookmark the permalink.