My “baby” sister is turning 26 today, and I just have to say that for better or for worse, I can’t imagine life without her. I know without a doubt the answer to a dilemma I had as a child.
When I was itty bitty (think no more than 6, possibly younger), my mother came across me… distraught. Utterly and completely distraught, there’s no other way to say it. She asked me what was wrong, and I actually remember this experience. I had been thinking and thinking and worrying and worrying about how many children I should have.
Did I mention I was itty bitty at the time?
I explained to her that I just couldn’t decide. “If I have two kids then they will fight, but if I have one kid it will be lonely!” My tiny brain could not come to terms with this. It was the first major decision I (thought I) had to make in my life, and possibly the first time I really understood that there are not always clear-cut answers to things.
My mother tried to console me as best she could. “Honey, that’s a decision that your husband will help you make. And you don’t need to figure it out right now.”
I replied, in that honest/dramatic way that only children truly can, “No, Mommy, I need to know now!”
Well, she was right. As it turns out, I didn’t need to decide back then, when I didn’t even know where babies really came from. And my husband and I will decide together, though we usually talk about having two but I don’t know if that might change some day. One thing I do know for certain is that I don’t want just one child. Because I would rather have the inevitable fighting and sibling rivalry than to have a child who lives their whole life not knowing what it’s like to have siblings. The best of friends and the worst of enemies, often simultaneously. Someone who knows your entire history, who can draw on a vast number of shared experiences for inside jokes (and embarrassing moments).
I don’t know where I would be without my sister, and I’m so glad I don’t.
Love you, K. xoxo