For almost two years, I have had an article hanging up in my office. I loved it enough to post it as a reminder, but since then I’ve only read it maybe once… and today, I looked at it to remind myself why I was inspired enough to print and post it in my office, where I will see it every day.
The article is a blog post from a blog called Positively Present, and it’s called do what you want now : why i’ve stopped waiting. And actually reading it again now, I know that it’s one thing to say, “I need to do this” and another to actually do it. Need I point out the irony that the article is about NOT putting things off, but that’s exactly what I’ve done with it? (Well too bad, I have already pointed it out. So there!)
I won’t rehash the article. That’s the point of linking to it. So go read it and come back.
*la dee da…* (don’t mind me, I’m just waiting for a friend to return)
Okay, moving on…
Another thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I am often afraid to do things because I’m so stuck on what other people will think of me, or what might happen but never does. How do you stop that? How to you move past “I don’t want so-and-so to be mad at me” or “what will so-and-so think?” or “I can’t do that because there might be an emergency and I won’t be here to deal with it” into “I am going to do this because I want to, and that is reason enough for me”? I guess I need to work on that.
I think these two ideas are tied together, at least for me. Because by worrying about how other people will think instead of how doing something will make me feel, it’s not just putting myself last. It’s turned my world into what Dani from Positively Present calls “a lifetime of somedays.” And that’s definitely not what I want.
So you are my witnesses: I no longer want to put myself last. I need to start doing what I want to do, and screw everyone else. Do you know how hard this is? It’s so hard to not care what other people think that I actually started typing “no offense” before I typed “screw everyone else.” Which is precisely my problem. I foresee this being a long road, but I am determined to start doing more things that I want to do, regardless of the possible consequences.
Starting with… um…
See? It’s so hard to put myself first, I can’t even think of a first step!
Oh well. Wish me luck! … Not that I need your validation of my decision. 😉