I know this is going to come off as super conceited but… I love me.
There, I said it and I won’t take it back!
And it has nothing to do with the fact that today is Valentine’s Day, but it’s true.
I haven’t always loved myself. I went through the typical female teenage angst of hating my body and not feeling pretty or popular or worthwhile. I thought I was fat because my size went up, when really it’s a natural part of growing up – that’s why it’s called growing. I wanted to be taller. I wanted my hair to be smoother, and either straight or curly but not in between. I wanted to be better at the flute without spending all my free time practicing. I wanted to be published before I turned 20 but I didn’t know the first thing about writing a novel.
In the past few years, I have transformed many times. I have become stronger because of personal trials that I’ve been forced to face. I’ve had to depend on myself more than ever before. And I’ve grown thanks to certain mentors that have come into my life, mainly through Leonie Dawson‘s Goddess Circle. It was here that I worked through many of my creative fears and blocks. It was here that I learned not to deny that I am an artist and a writer. And it was from someone I met in the Circle that I learned so much that I can’t thank her enough. Eliza truly helped me embrace who I am and who I want to be. And it was in the Goddess Circle that I met my newest creativity mentor, Jani Franck. Jani’s free UnEarth Your Creative Nature ecourse has me embracing doodling and taking creative adventures, and now I am even chasing butterflies.
At first, the Goddess Circle was a safe haven for me where I could talk to like-minded women who wanted to work on themselves. I could take a creativity ecourse, get support for personal matters, and join in book discussions. Now, things have changed. The Circle has almost 3,000 members, which is fantastic for Leonie and I’m happy for her success. But I’ve outgrown it. I am no longer benefiting from my membership. It is no longer making me grow and expand my creativity. It’s a wonderful place, but lately it’s felt like more of an obligation than a haven. It’s something that makes me say “I have to go there more often” rather than “I can’t wait to sign in!” I haven’t even read Leonie’s blog in over a year. That’s why I’ve decided to say goodbye. I have resigned as a Circle Guide and I am quitting the Circle.
It’s important to recognize when something or someone has nothing left to teach us and to move on. Walking away is bittersweet, but it feels right. As right as it felt to join in the first place. It’s time to find new mentors who can take me further in my journey of self-discovery. Because even though I love myself now… I can’t wait to see how much more I can love myself in the future.